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Keywords:

• we had sex in his office

Comment: so I felt it was appropriate

Description: to like his company on facebook

Keywords:

• I sent him a topless photo

Comment: and he complimented my eyes

Description: not sure if I'm offended

Keywords:

• I'm stripping for him via video chat

Comment: and his sound is off

Description: because his students are taking a test

Keywords:

• immediately after sex he started talking

Comment: about the nerdy stuff he meant to text me

Description: I'm completely smitten

Keywords:

• I made the cop pinkie-promise

Comment: not to arrest me if I was drunk

Keywords:

• I just saw a bird vs squirrel fight

Comment: a car won

Keywords:

• I like to send nudes okay?

Comment: if that's my biggest flaw

Description: I think I'm okay

Keywords:

• stop autocorrecting my fucks into ducks

Comment: you're making my strongly worded texts

Description: look harmless and adorable

Keywords:

• he bought me flowers

Comment: the card said "sorry I can't get you off"

Keywords:

• I get why guys like boobs so much

Comment: I just motorboated myself and it was fun

Description: my boobs felts soft and squishy on my face

Keywords:

• damn him and his beautiful face

Comment: and body

Description: and penis

Keywords:

• he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN"

Comment: and hit me with his dick